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If Ford created the computer instead of Microsoft (or Apple)

28 Apr

If you haven’t read this before, you’re in for a treat. If you’ve memorized it because it always makes you chuckle, skip to reason #11.

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft (or Apple), we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

  1. For no reason  whatsoever, your car would crash……. Twice a day.
  2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the  windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows  before you could continue. For some reason you would simply  accept this.
  4. Occasionally,  executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
  5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was  reliable five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.
  6. The oil, water temperature,  and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light.
  7. I love the next one:  The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying.
  8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you  simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
  9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls  would operate in the same manner as the old car.
  10. You’d have to press the   ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.
  11. When all else fails, you call  customer service in some foreign country and be instructed in  some foreign language how to fix your car  yourself

Jacqui Murray is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman, the story of her daughter’s journey from high school to United States Naval Academy, and the thriller, To Hunt a Sub. She is also the author/editor of over a hundred books on integrating tech into education, adjunct professor of technology in education, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for TeachHUB, monthly contributor to Today’s Author and a freelance journalist on tech ed topics. You can find her books at her publisher’s website, Structured Learning. The sequel to To Hunt a Sub, Twenty-four Days, will be out this summer. Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-8 technology for 15 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, CSG Master Teacher, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers, CAEP reviewer, CSTA presentation reviewer, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and a weekly contributor to TeachHUB. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.


 

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  1. Tim MinnesotaNo Gravatar

    August 3, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Actually, this sounds an awful lot like it should be “If Microsoft designed a car…”

     
 
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